Losing Everything
by Dreaming-Of-A-Nightmare
Summary: “I can’t summon the Keyblade. I can’t sense Roxas anywhere. I feel shaky and sick and afraid. What am I supposed to do now? What has my life turned into?” .:. Sora returns Ven's heart, but at what cost? .:. some Coded and BBS spoilers. no pairings.


**A/N: Yeah, this is bizarre and random and semi-depressing. I don't know why I thought of this; I suppose it's just my own thoughts/ideas on what could and mostly likely never will) happen in the KH series. **

**I blame all of the Japanese raws of Birth By Sleep on YouTube and the plot spoilers for BBS and KH: Coded on Wikipedia that I've been looking up for the creation of this crazy drabble. Those things, and my own brain. Haha, I laugh at my own brain sometimes. ;P**

**

* * *

**

**Title: ** Losing Everything

**Rating: **K+

**Pairings: **None in specific, but you can discern a few for yourself if you look real hard for them. ;D

**Warning: **Some light _Coded_ and _BBS_ spoilers. Nothing that will kill you (hopefully).

* * *

Standing here, Sora knows what he must do. He wonders idly if Roxas felt the same way when the Nobody knew that he had to merge with the brunet. Did he feel heavy with responsibility? Cold with regret? Did the blond feel a sense of surrender, and despair over the 'what if's of what's to come once his deed was done?

Sora feels like that: as though he has no choice, as if it is what he is meant to do, as if there is no turning back, ever. He doesn't know what will happen when he completes this task; he doesn't have a clue as to what the outcome will be. And yet…

The chosen one also feels some relief. He likes knowing that he is helping somebody, saving somebody. He likes knowing that this is for the best, even if it feels strange and unnerves him to the core.

He steps forward, into the room with the throne-like chairs and heart symbols shimmering on the white walls, and he thinks, _I know this place. _True, he only learned its name – Castle Oblivion – because of King Mickey's report telling him about Jiminy's search for the truth behind the 'Thank Naminé' note in his journal, and the tale of Data Sora and Data Riku/the Journal itself, and about everything Sora had been forced to forget, but there is something beyond this knowledge that leads Sora to think this. He truly does remember something about this odd castle, if only by the memory of his emotions instead of his visual memory.

Shivering because the room has a chilly, sleepy aura, Sora steps inside and allows the doors to close behind him. The sound of a dry, locking click echoes throughout the room, and then all that is left are Sora's nimble footfalls.

"Ventus," he murmurs, having learned the name also from King Mickey. The boy – his body seems to not have aged a day without his heart – is seated on the center throne, his shoulder hunched and his legs dangling lifelessly, so much like Kairi when Sora saw her on Hook's ship a few years ago.

His resemblance to Roxas is uncanny. They are exactly alike, even in their taste of clothing. It makes Sora shiver again, because he realizes how everything connects, how everything has a purpose.

With a slow, steady inhale to give him strength and help slow his quick heartbeats, Sora approaches Ven and carefully lifts the boy off of the throne.

"I'm giving it back," he says in a whisper. "It's yours, not mine. You lent it to me when I was small, only four or five years old, and I haven't forgotten what you told me." He summons one of his Keyblades and makes it glow. Then, with more care than Sora has ever dared, he extracts the ball of light that is Ven's heart from his own heart.

And as it melts into the blond warrior's chest, blackness swirls and rises to meet Sora with inviting arms.

-X-X-X-

Back on Destiny Islands, everything has been restored, everywhere. Things have returned to the norm they once were. Balance has returned. Life moves on, everywhere.

But things have changed drastically from what everyone used to know. Nothing is exactly how it was, but it comes close. Very, very close.

Not for Sora, however. He found this out the second he came-to on the Gummi Ship ride home. Things for Sora are far from close to how they used to be. Nothing feels "normal," because since he first time Sora slew a Heartless, the abnormal became his usual business. Now, he is without.

The brunet breaks down and sobs not five minutes after his feet touch the sandy ground. The sun is setting behind him, and the waves are rushing to lick the toes of his shoes. The grains of sand beneath his fingertips feel rougher than they should. His tears are burning his face.

"It's all gone," Sora cries, and Riku bends down to lay his hand on Sora's back, and Kairi is running up the path to greet them, her smile falling flat once she sees what state Sora is in. "I lost it. I lost everything!"

"What did you lose, Sora? What _happened?_" Kairi asks, her voice thick with concern. She looks to Riku for answers, but the silveret is at a disadvantage. They both wait patiently beside the blue-eyed teen until he is ready to speak again.

When he finally does, his eyes are red and puffy but dry, and he is sniffling on occasion. "You know that saying, 'you don't know what you've got until it's gone?' Well, I finally get it," he says, and he barks a bitter laugh after the words leave his mouth. "I never saw how much Ventus gave me by seeking refuge inside my heart, but now I know: he gave my strength. Courage. The Keyblade. Roxas. He gave me the chance to carry out my childhood dreams of being a hero. He gave me the chance to fight for what's right."

Riku and Kairi exchanged slightly confused looks, but remain silent and allow Sora to continue. Kairi reaches for one of Sora's hands and gives it a squeeze, and jerks her head at Riku and then to Sora's other hand, motioning for the slightly older boy to do the same.

Sora appears to fold into their hands for support. Then, with a small, quivering breath, he goes on: "His strong heart full of pain and love and everything that he was made me able to remember things when I was a Heartless, and made me have a strong enough heart to create Roxas. Ven gave me the power to wield the Keyblade and the courage to use it. He gave me _all that I've ever known and loved having and doing._ And now that I've given him back his heart, there's nothing left for me."

"That's not true, Sora," Kairi cuts in. "There's plenty! There's me and Riku, and everybody on Destiny Islands, as well as –"

Sora's eyes flash and he rips his hands out of his friends' hands. He stares at her a moment, his tone slipping into something much more fiery, much more angry. "I can't summon the Keyblade. I can't use the spells Merlin and the others have taught me as well as I used to, nor remember half of them! I can't sense Roxas anywhere – I can't hear him, feel him, or see him. I feel shaky and sick and _afraid._ What am I supposed to do now? What has my life turned into? I can't fight Heartless or Nobodies or the occasional Unversed anymore. I can't save people in the same way, and I have no reason for visiting any of the other worlds! I feel so… so… _pathetic_." His tone is laced with disgust on that final word, the note of its chord ringing like a fire alarm in Kairi's mind. She immediately shuts up.

Following his little outburst, Riku frowns and yanks Sora to his feet. Before Sora can say something, his expression clearly pissed and ready to verbally attack Riku, the silveret raises his hand and strikes Sora across the cheek.

_Slap!_

Sora blinks multiple times to clear the blinding sparkles dancing at the corners of his eyes. Riku just hit him! His first instinct is to punch Riku's lights out, but a small voice of reason creeps into Sora's mind and urges him to understand why Riku slapped him. It was to knock some sense in him, and get him to listen.

"Sora. It's all right to be mad at Ven, or mad at the situation, but it's _not_ all right to take that anger out on Kairi, do you hear? She didn't do anything wrong, so don't snap at her as if she had!" Riku exclaims, poking Sora once or twice in the chest.

Sora swallows and nods his head once, curtly. "Fine. I got it. I hear you," he grumbles, and after a moment he's rubbing his temples and exhaling sharply. "But that doesn't change how I feel. I'm not mad at Ven – I'm grateful to him for giving me those experiences – but I still feel wronged. Why me? What makes me so special? And why did things have to be this way?"

For a moment, Riku regrets his words, because Sora looks as though he might cry again. But he doesn't. Instead, Sora sighs and says glumly that he's going to go think for a while, by himself.

"I hope he'll be okay," Kairi murmurs as she hugs her biceps and stands close to Riku. She looks over at him, her eyes questioning. "Do you think that he'll be okay?"

Riku shakes his head gradually. "I'm not sure, Kairi," he responds softly. "With him, I can never be sure."


End file.
